Oops. I wrote most of this post within a few days of completing the Whole30, but didn't take the time to finish it until now (a little over 3 weeks post W30). So, here it is:
Done.
No more Whole30...just life after. What do I do now?
First, let me tell you how I feel. In one word: bittersweet.
Oh, and if you have been considering doing a Whole30, I highly recommend it! What are you waiting for?
I really love the way I am feel when I am in the smooth-sailing, cruising along, this is easy-peasy portion of the Whole 30. Let me give you a list of some of the health benefits I have experienced:
- clear skin
- increased energy
- better sleep (less sweaty nights?)
- headaches nearly gone
- decreased moodiness
- no more bloating
- increased digestive performance (that's the nice way of saying 'good poop')
- decreased anxiety (this one is questionable)
- confidence (I think this ties closely with energy)
- mind feels more clear
- learning to listen to my body
What I don't love about the W30 is saying no to foods that I enjoy to eat, taste, and experience.
We finished our official Whole30 a couple weeks ago, and immediately jumped on an airplane to visit family in Denver. Initially, Jason intended to go to Denver for the Great American Beer Festival. It turns out tickets were impossible to come by, so instead we attended one all-day event visiting Oskar Blues and their various venues ranging from a hop farm, to bike fabrication shop to brewery tour (and that wasn't all!). We had lots of fun, but it also meant beer plus non-W30 compliant foods. While we ate pretty good for the remainder of the weekend, I continued being lax about choices and definitely enjoyed some wine and beer with the family. I should also mention that I came down with a head cold, so it is difficult to know what symptoms were a result of sickness versus food.
So, what were my symptoms? Like I said, hard to say since I wasn't feeling my best to begin with...and we were in Denver where you instantly feel dried out (no amount of chapstick was adequate). I was dehydrated, not sleeping well, and had a mild headache. I did notice that I was a bit more gassy than I was a few days previous (and that, I'm sure is not attributable to the head cold!). A few days later, after eating some dairy and bean products, I definitely felt some uncomfortable, hmm...let's call it 'gut action'... other than that, the most noticeable difference is the lethargy I feel. I can tell my energy levels are much higher when I eat W30. Little bumps on my arm that disappeared during W30 have since returned, and overall my skin just isn't looking quite as healthy as it did a month ago. I haven't done a proper reintroduction like I intended, so I haven't taken the time to learn which of the foods I should eliminate from my life entirely. I think that will be another adventure for another day.
While this adventure has helped me to further identify how much control food has over my life, it has not fixed my relationship with food. It has only been a few weeks, and I feel vulnerable.... the walls of the little cave where I shoved my sugar dragon are starting to crumble. One small jolt to the foundation and I might find myself diving head first into a tub of ice cream. Right now, I'm going to try to focus on finding balance in my life. Allowing myself small indulgences can be okay, I just can't allow the sugar dragon to let loose in those moments, I need to keep it safely confined so that it withers away...and maybe, someday the dragon will be no more.
I think, finding balance is key. And, locking up the dragon is not for the feint of heart.
Wow - we made it to day 18. Week two is over, and then only a couple more days until I can start a single digit countdown.
As I mentioned before, I like to read the Whole30® timeline. I find it incredibly helpful to know how this way of eating changes your body - and the side effects to get there. Day 12 was awful for me. I was in a crabby mood, I really wanted a beer...like REALLY. It was hard. I was being pretty moody, and guess who had to deal with it? My dear husband. He is so great. Sometimes, I get so mad at him because he is so lovable...it's pretty silly.
Anyways, we were in the car heading to an Elysian tap takeover (that's right, I scheduled my Whole30 during Bellingham Beer Week. Apparently my subconscious really wanted to test my willpower). I could have stayed home, but Jason needed (and wanted) to be there for work, and I like hanging out with him. So, we are on our way there, and I can't recall how the conversation ended up there, but we started talking about my terrible attitude. Oh boy, you can only imagine me - eye rolling, big sighs, looks that could kill...I told Jason I was ready to quit Whole30, that it was a terrible idea, and dumb, and he preceded to ask me "Why are you doing the Whole30?" Ugh, this made me fume. I got so mad, because he asked what I did not want to hear. I think my response was pretty childish and snobby, somewhere along the lines of 'It doesn't even matter, I'm quitting anyways'.
Oh Jason, most of the time he knows just the right amount of tough love that I need. (Jason, if you are reading this, please don't let this go to your head, I need hugs, too!). He said something, and responded with another snarky remark, but he got me thinking. He asked again what the purpose was for me spending 30 days eating healthy. I pulled out my phone, looked up the timeline, and read this:
Days 10-11: The Hardest Days.
Fact: you are most likely to quit your Whole30 program on Day 10 or 11. By this point, the newness of the program has worn off. You’ve made it through most of the unpleasant physical milestones, but you’ve yet to experience any of the “magic” the program promises. You’re still struggling to establish your new routine (read: you’ve eaten eggs prepared ten different ways over the last ten days), and while you’ve been trying really hard to have a good attitude, today you are incredibly aware of all the foods you’re “choosing not to eat right now.” Everywhere you look, you see the things you “can’t” have: the melted cheese on a greasy burger, the creaminess of that double-scoop cone, the cold beer in your best friend’s tailgate cooler. Dammit, this is hard! And right now you’re wondering if the results will really be as good as “they” all say it is.
You’re cranky, you’re impatient, and you’re really, really tempted to just eat the stupid cheese.
This is where you really start to experience the psychological hold that your food habits have on you. You’ve put in a lot of effort to get to where you are right now, but you’re still waiting for the results you’re hoping to see. Your brain tells you that you deserve some kind of reward (don’t you?) and, of course, we’ve been conditioned to think of food as the best reward out there. Right now, you’re craving that ice cream, beer, or whatever treat you think would make for just the right reward. But, instead of that treat, you’re standing face to face with the realization that you have 20 more days of deprivation ahead of you.
The key here is to redefine your idea of reward. Think long and hard about the foods you’re grieving and ask yourself what need you’re expecting them to fulfill. Are you feeling anxious and looking for reassurance? Are you feeling sad, and looking for something to cheer you up? Are you worried you won’t successfully finish the program, and it’s easier to self-sabotage than fail? Remind yourself that food cannot fill that void for you—cannot make you feel truly accomplished, comforted, calm, happy, beautiful. Then, find another way to fill that need that does not involve those foods. Prepare yourselves for these days, knowing that all you have to do is see them through to the other side before things get much, much easier.
- See more at: http://whole30.com/2013/08/revised-timeline/#sthash.qertFxTS.dpuf
Well, poo. This sounds familiar. Meanwhile, Jason is still talking to me and I'm ignoring him, which he notices and brings me back to our unpleasant conversation. I snap at him with 'NO, I'm reading the timeline!' At which point, I can't help but feel my lips start to twitch with a small smile. Then, I read the timeline to him. From there, reality hits me and I apologize for my appalling behavior.
I was thinking about it this morning, and at what point is taking on a challenge like the Whole30 detrimental? I was reading through some of the website, and stumbled on this link The Whole30 Gone Bad. Yes, yes, and yes! A challenge like this is NOT for everyone. While the intent is to improve health, it could also be debilitating for someone who already struggles with issues such as eating disorders, or a poor self image.
Something I have been thinking about as I endure this go around, is how this affects me emotionally, and even more importantly, spiritually. I want to make sure that I don't turn this little challenge (because let's face it, this IS little and quite insignificant in the scope of things) into an idol. I want to use my time to glorify God, and to be thankful that I have the opportunity to do this.... I live in a place and have resources so I CAN be choosy about food. But, I have to make sure that I don't lose sight of what really matters, just because I can't eat bread...right now. I'm hoping that practicing discipline in this area of my life will help me focus better in other areas- such as improving myself as a wife, a friend, a daughter, and sister.
Perhaps I'm reaching a little too far here, but I'm hoping this self improvement will lead to good things in those other areas of my life.
